That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
try to milk me bitch
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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