Say something about gay babies.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
