Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize