Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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