i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
