He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
