fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
