Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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