ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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