Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
