is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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