what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
