Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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