WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Houston, we have a squirter
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
