you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
