Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize