someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
