She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
