You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
