I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
