I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
