He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize