i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
