So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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