So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
