i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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