She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
