I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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