It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
