why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
