I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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