I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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