Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
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She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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