i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
