you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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