I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
