Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
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he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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