Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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