i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
