it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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