my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
