porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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