this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
