I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
