thus making me awesome and them whores
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
