All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
