ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
