and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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