I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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