A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
