Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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