I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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