this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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