Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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