alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
