yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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