I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
