when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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