i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
