I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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