try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
