Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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