Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's never too late to be topless.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
